Monday, July 19, 2010

Thoughts While Thinking About My Clitty

A man's in bed with his girlfriend.

After having great sex, she spends the next hour just stroking his penis, something she had lovingly done on many occasions. Rather enjoying it, he turns and asks her, 'Why do you love doing that?' She replies: 'Because I really miss mine'.

1. Have Boobs: I know not everyone has them, but if you do, then you don’t need to read the rest of this how to. Boobs are the answer to most problems.

2. Make Eye Contact But Don’t Be Creepy: You want the bartender to acknowledge you’re there and in line, but you don’t want to hold the gaze so long he tenses his butthole in fearful anticipation of what you might do to him when he walks to his car later. Eye contact, then look away.

3. Hold Cash In Your Hand: Don’t hold it out like you’re beckoning a stripper, just hold it noticeably in your hand so he knows you want to purchase.

4. Don’t Bitch: A bartender is not your child, you don’t have the right to verbally abuse him. Wait patiently and you will be served after everyone with boobs.

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