Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Some Funnies

Work Vs. Prison
IN PRISON... you spend the majority of your time in an 8X10 cell. AT WORK... you spend the majority of your time in a 6X8 desk cubicle. IN get time off for good behaviour.AT get more work for good behaviour. IN PRISON...the guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.AT must carry around a security card and open all the doors for yourself. IN can watch TV and play games.AT get fired for watching TV and playing games. IN PRISON...they allow your family and friends to visitAT can't even speak to your family on the phone. IN PRISON...the taxpayers pay all expenses with no work required.AT get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners. Have a Great Day at WORK - I'm going to PRISON!!!

A lady manager of a big reputed office noticed a new man one day and told him to come into her office."What is your name?" was the first thing she asked the new guy."John," the new guy replied.She scowled, "Look... I don't know what kind of a namby-pamby place you worked before, but I don't call anyone by their first name. It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority.I refer to my employees by their last name only ... Smith, Jones, Baker ...that's all.I am to be referred to only as Mrs. Robertson. Now that we got that straight, what is your last name?"The new guy sighed, "Darling..... ....... My name is John Darling.""Okay John, the next thing I want to tell you is . . . "

Family Business
A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law. "I love my daughter, and now I welcome you into the family," said the man. "To show you how much we care for you, I am making you a 50-50 partner in my business. All you have to do is go to the factory every day and learn the operations." The son-in-law interrupted. "I hate factories. I can't stand the noise." "I see," replied the father-in-law. "Well then you'll work in the office and take charge of some of the operations." "I hate office work," said the son-on-law. "I can't stand being stuck behind a desk all day." "Wait a minute," said the father-in-law. "I just made you a half-owner of a profitable corporation, but you don't like factories and won't work in a office. What am I going to do with you?" "Easy," said the young man. "Buy me out."

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