Londoners least likely to have sex in car! More than two out of five motorists have made love in a car, but Londoners are the least likely to indulge, a survey said today. The Welsh are the keenest in-car lovers, with Londoners least likely to indulge, the survey from car insurance company Diamond found. Those aged 22-29 are most likely to engage in motoring sex, although as many as 39% of those aged 60 or more admitted amorous in-car activity. Based on responses from 1,000 motorists, the survey showed: :: 41% have had sex in a car; :: 52% of men, but only 34% of women, have made love in a motor; :: 46% of Welsh motorists, but only 35% of London ones, admitted in-car sex; :: Of those owning up, 53% did it in the front seat, 39% in the back seat and 9% on the bonnet. Diamond managing director Sian Lewis said: "It's surprising to see that so many people have used their cars in this way. Who knows, it could be that the bedroom just isn't as much fun or people simply can't wait to get home. "With considerably more men than women admitting to making love in their car, you have to question if this is a case of men exaggerating their in-car prowess or women not wanting to admit to it."
Three boys were sitting on a fence talking. One of the little boys says to the other, "If you could have your body covered in anything, what would it be?"
After thinking for a while the boy answers. "Silver."
"I could peel it off and buy that Honda over there."
The boy then asks the other, "And you?"
"Gold, I could peel it off and by the BMW sitting over there."
After a few seconds one of the boys ask the first boy, "Well, what about you?"
The boy thought and thought and finally, said very calmly, "Hair".
Well the other two boys were just sickened and asked.."HAIR???? Why in the hell would you want your WHOLE BODY covered in HAIR???"
"Well", the boy answered, "My sister has got a little tiny patch of hair and she owns both of those cars!!!"
A Lobster Story
In a small fishing village, a Newfoundlander was walking Up the wharf carrying two at-least-three-pound live lobsters, one in each hand. It was three weeks after the season closed! Whom should he meet at the end of the wharf but the Federal Fisheries Officer who, upon viewing the live and wiggling lobsters, says: "Well me Laddie I got you this time - with two live lobsters three weeks after the season Closed!" The Newfie says, "No - My Son you are wrong! These are two trained lobsters that I caught two weeks before the season ended." The Fisheries Officer says, " Trained like how?" "Well my son, each day I takes these two from my house down to the wharf and puts them in the water for a swim. While they swim I sits on the wharf and has me a smoke, or two. After about 15 minutes I whistles and up comes me two lobsters, and I takes them home!" "Likely story", the Fisheries Officer says! "Lets take them on down the wharf and see if it's true." So, the Newfie goes ahead of the Fisheries Officer to the end of the wharf where, under supervision, he gently lowers both lobsters into the water. The Newfie sits on a wharf piling and lights up a smoke, then another! After about 15 minutes the Fisheries Officer says to the Newfie, "How about whistling?" The Newfie says " What For?" The Fisheries Officer says, " To call in the Lobsters" The Newfie says, " What Lobsters?"