John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, 'Here's tospending the rest of me life between the legs of mewife!'That won him the top prize at the pub for the besttoast of the night! He went home and told his wife, Mary, 'I won the prizefor the Best toast of the night' She said, 'Aye, didye now. And what was your toast?' John said, 'Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting inchurch beside me wife.' 'Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!' Mary said.The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinkingbuddies on the street corner. The man chuckledleeringly and said, 'John won the prize the othernight at the pub with a toast about you, Mary.' She said, 'Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprisedmyself. You know, he's only been there twice in thelast four years. Once he fell asleep, and the othertime I had to pull him by the ears to make him come.'
Cross Examination
A defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer during a felony trial - it went like this: Q. Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene? A. No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away. Q. Officer, who provided this description?A. The officer who responded to the scene. Q. A fellow officer provided the description of this so- called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?A. Yes sir, with my life. Q. With your life? Let me ask you this then officer - do you have a locker room in the police station - a room where you change your clothes in preparation for you daily duties?A. Yes sir, we do. Q. And do you have a locker in that room?A. Yes sir, I do. Q. And do you have a lock on your locker?A. Yes sir. Q. Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, that you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with those same officers?A. You see sir, we share the building with a court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room. With that, the courtroom erupted in laughter, and a prompt recess was called.
A defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer during a felony trial - it went like this: Q. Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene? A. No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away. Q. Officer, who provided this description?A. The officer who responded to the scene. Q. A fellow officer provided the description of this so- called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?A. Yes sir, with my life. Q. With your life? Let me ask you this then officer - do you have a locker room in the police station - a room where you change your clothes in preparation for you daily duties?A. Yes sir, we do. Q. And do you have a locker in that room?A. Yes sir, I do. Q. And do you have a lock on your locker?A. Yes sir. Q. Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, that you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with those same officers?A. You see sir, we share the building with a court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room. With that, the courtroom erupted in laughter, and a prompt recess was called.
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